Letter to Fear.

Fear,

 

There’s an emptiness to be felt when you breath out. Some yearning to be filled up by exactly what went out of you. It is so intense your senses do not perceive it, like the sounds louder than our ears can hear. But it is there like 

‘breath out

breath in

breath out…’

 

That is how I’m sure you think your leaving made me feel. I bet you expected me to grapple for your shirt sleeve and beg you to fill me again. To hug me again, and set my heart pounding madly. To speak in undertones while you bellow. To huddle myself in the corner so you can have space enough to move freely. Well I did. For a while, that is.

I was sad when you left at first. It was all so awkward to me, you see. I felt insecure because the cuffs you made me wear attached to thoughts of Future, Past, Present, Expectations, Aspiration, Dreams… Love, made me feel safe, but they got destroyed when you left. It may seem funny but the cuffs made me hold on quite easily to Procrastination and Inactivity and Self-doubt and all those pillars you built in my house when you came to live with me. Talking of those pillars, when did you even build them? How come I never noticed them until you left along with them? In fact, you merely paid a visit and without my permission, you moved in. That was very rude, you know?

I now understand why I could not see certain things clearly. The pillars you put up blocked my view completely and I did not see Opportunity when she came to visit and Power stood in the room too. I heard after you left that Self-belief was sitting on the sofa all along. Even worse, I got to know that you had locked out Faith!    What right did you have?! Yes, I admit I let you in once, but that was it. Once!

I’m glad your opportunistic self left. Now, I just do not think of  Future-I pray about him, Past- I consult her and she teaches me or just travels not to return, Present- Faith and me walk with her, Expectations- we talk occasionally and decide which ones make sense, Aspirations- we check our progress frequently, Dreams -we run wild, Love -I live in Him. I’m doing well with the others too.

Just so you know, you don’t need to come back to pack your belongings. Holy Spirit said He threw them out and burned them up. He has also taken your place and He is marvelous! He whispers gently, He guides me, counsels me, guards me, comforts me and helps me to do everything. Yes, you read right. He helps me to do everything, even writing this letter to you!

So Fear, don’t come back. There’s no room for you.

 

There’s this fullness I feel  when I breath in. Some yearning to remain filled by exactly what entered me. He is so intense He takes over everything – like light entering a dark room. He has become my lifeline and He is like

‘ breath in

breath out

breath in…’

Me.